Resident Wife Life... Episode 1
Updated: Sep 5, 2019
I don’t have the key to success on the topic. If you find it, please send to me care of girl who needs a tall glass.
Congratulations! Your spouse matched into the residency they were hoping for! Or maybe they scrambled into the Plan C program…either way, it is an exciting milestone. You both have worked so hard and deserve a hug. You are diving head first into a new chapter of life with the poise of Gwyneth Paltrow and the preparation of a mosquito in molasses. I will try to help by sharing some snap logistics and leaving the emotional aspects of being a residency spouse for another day. I am happy to offer the below list of observations to all spouses, partners and families of medical residents.
Fixer-up houses are a no way Jose. Unless you fancy yourself as talented as Chip and Jojo, I would suggest finding an affordable living situation that doesn’t need a lot of work. To date, I have fixed toilets, changed air filters, unclogged tub drains, handled the lawn (obvi), changed high/outdoor light bulbs… thanks YouTube (and my saints for parents). My husband is cringing at this topic I am sure. Yes, Levi is certainly capable of knocking these things out-he just doesn’t have the time. And since I’m not trying to retile the bathroom or shiplap the playroom on the weekend right now, move in ready home for the win!
Hire a lawn care service. Or more likely, get a self-propelled mower, some cute boots and sunscreen-you got this. Also, let’s hope your city ordinance isn’t too diligent on lawn maintenance guideline enforcement because who needs mow the backyard anyway?
Dark curtains-you need ‘em--your partner will need to sleep eventually and at strange times of day. High noon might be their best sleep. And if they don’t get good sleep, you will have an angry riled up version of New Year’s Eve Mariah Carey on your hands (They said there would be tea?!) Special Huzzah to these silk pillows and masks that are supposed to leave us wrinkle free and extra beautiful. Get your spouse and yourself one-put a tiara under it to wear around the house after you rock the kids’ bedtime routine alone for the 100th time.
Live close to their hospital (workplace)-If you can. Residents are already at work for long hours, no need to add the stress of a long commute. My husband has mistakenly driven into a shopping mall entrance on the way home from a long shift thinking it was our neighborhood-(multiple times) exhaustion is real. Yes, we now have rule that he must Uber home if too tired.
Get an analog alarm clock- running late for rounds or didactics… is not a pretty thing to witness. Think Ferris Bueller racing home except an extra 12 hour shift is at stake. iPhones are too finicky—they must be charged and their alarms are easy to snooze. Use your iPhone as a backup-you’ll need it for Daylight Savings etc.
Plan on being the one doing the Christmas shopping for everyone on the list... including yourself so pick something fabulous. And the budget is tight for many of us, so start strategizing your Black Friday and Cyber Monday game now. Many of us have been in training for this type of shopping for years, time to show off those skills people.
Just a note: When you are happily enjoying Shonda Rimes’ fabulous Greys Anatomy, or ABC’s new hit, The Good Doctor, the soundtrack will be drowned out by your very own resident’s commentary on how everything is wrong and annoying. Plan on binging your favorite medical show while they are asleep or better yet out of the house. McDreamy deserves full attention.
That is all for today! More notes to come ya’ll!