Residency Wife Life... Episode 4
House rule #1 of 1-work shoes go in the garage or on the porch-not in the house- because we don’t need any extra germs. Nothing spotlights their tough day reality like seeing patient blood on their shoes. I’ve seen pictures of nurse’s shoes go viral because they paint a powerful picture of their service to community. It’s a crazy thing to see on the porch in the morning.
It doesn't take long after visiting with my husband about his day, for me to feel silly in worrying about things like sitting down to dinner at the same time. Weirdly, sometimes when Levi has had the worst of days, he wants to hear about Kennedy and I's trip to the zoo the most. Maybe it's a reminder of life outside of medicine without discussing what is sometimes so heavy. Maybe he's just too tired to talk about his day. Either way, I'm chatty enough to handle that one.
Someone once told me they wouldn’t wish marriage to a doctor on their worst enemy. I don’t live in that camp at all. I think the lifestyle has tough/busy seasons, but the sacrifice is worth it to our family. Doctors (esp ER doctors) can be such an example of Christ's love to people who are in situations where they need it the most. Most things that are worth pursuing aren’t easy anyway. Furthermore, I don’t expect him to come home and be everything to everyone. I just ask that he meet me wherever he is emotionally and I will do the same. Honestly, sometimes I just pray God will give me the strength to hear some of his patients' stories without just crying right there. Most of the time, I just try to listen and cheer him on with the good outcomes. I guess my point is to encourage you by sharing this. Your physician cares. And so does his wife.
We are incredibly blessed with joy in this season-It helps that our daughter is an actual golden nugget from Heaven leaving a trail of smiles wherever she goes. As our worship leader said a couple of weeks ago, God pours out joy in the valley as well as joy on the mountain. It also helps that my husband is a kind soul who loves me through and through. Authenticity is the name of the game with grace for the nitty-gritty details. Because it isn't always pretty. It can be tough and lonely quite a bit.
Most importantly remember, you're not alone. It's pretty easy to declare ourselves queen of our own island. Meaning, we can easily isolate our struggles. Like in the old folktale referenced by Rachel Hollis in Girl Wash Your Face, don't be like the man sinking in a flood declaring that God is going to save him to the people on boats floating by. Get on the boat. Pop your head into your local church to see whats up. Swing by the yoga studio and say hey to someone you're not friends with just yet. Reach out to the other spouses in your residency program, see if they want to watch The Bachelor with you. I know many of us are in situations that really do seem lonely. My appeal to you for today is to jump into the opportunities that are in front of you. Ask your neighbor to walk with you. Please excuse me while I go attempt to take my own advice...
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